i wuz able to talk to Petey the Cock in a one on one exclusive interview late this after noon & here's what he had to say.....
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we'll start off easy.
Fair enough.
what was your best trick for the Puppetry of the Penis act?
Well, I'm really quite talented at the Lochness monster, but I can bend myself into all kinds of crazy shapes. Clouser was particularly fond of making me look like the Eiffel Tower immediately before performing an Eiffel Tower with Lohner and a lovely lady, one of which I remember quite fondly.
{blushes} it's kind of you to refer to me as a lovely lady concidering our circumstance.
I speak only the truth, my lady.
elaborate on this quote "Let's just say that it's my winning personality and not his that keeps the ladies happy. I can't even begin to tell you all of the unsavory places he's put me. I just hope that should Gabriel take mercy on me and make me his Head Cock that he won't stick me in such foulness."
Oh, Whore, I can't even begin to tell you the number of times I've been traumatized. There was the time in his youth when he tried screwing a hole in a tree and I wound up with a nasty squirrel bite right on the top of my head.
owwwwie...that sounds painful.
Yes, I feared I would contract rabies, but thankfully, I think the bite I got from the squirrel was cleaner than those I've received from some of his groupies. Let's just say for being kinda slutty, some just have not learned the fine art of giving a proper blow job. Seriously, how many teeth do you ladies have???
But I digress. I think the foulest place Clouser's ever put me is up Lohner's ass. He claims he only likes the ass play with the ladies, but this just isn't so. And don't believe him for a minute when he claims the Lohner incident was just a joke either. He enjoyed it WAY too much to just be joking around. I wish I could say the same.
interesting.....
And let's just say Lohner isn't the most hygienic fellow. I had to hold my breath the entire time and wade through dingleberries. I get the dry heaves just thinking about it!
i feel you there Petey. so what’s your stance on circumcision. cruel torture or fashionable trend?
Well, since I've been untouched myself, I'd lean towards cruel torture. I mean, who doesn't like snuggling in a warm and cuddly turtleneck? However, when you have some hygiene problems like Lohner, I'd recommend going for a little nip/tuck.
so what wuz your most scandalous shag?
Well, there was an incident with 2/3 of the Pittsburg Steelers, but I'd rather not talk about it. Let's just say it would have made Caligula blush.
sounds positivly hedonistic. now for our gay gabriel loving constituency here, has clouser ever had you standing at attention while looking at, listening to, thinking about gabriel? Is he a closeted brokeback kinda man?
Well, he's got more of a thing for Lohner than Gabriel, which I will NEVER understand. As GoGo has aptly pointed out, Gabriel is The. Hottest. Man. On. The. Planet. Period. Besides, if I'm anointed Gabriel's Head Cock, don't you think it would be a little incestuous if Clouser was all lusty for him?
well maybe......but could it be considered a masturbation type thing?
That is indeed a point to ponder.
speaking of gogo what exactly did she do to you? the web cam video feed froze up a couple of times.
GoGo is a cruel mistress. I was all ready to give her some lovin when she whipped out and industrial sized pair of tweezers. I tried to shrink myself up as much as possible, but she strung Charlie up by his ankles, so I was just dangling in the breeze hanging ten. I can't recount all of the horrors she put me through. I still suffer from post-traumatic stress. Let's just say that every time I see a pair of tweezers, I piddle on the floor. It's most embarrassing.
awww......there there little Petey.......are you crying.....i see a something beading in your eye. {hands a tissue}
Yes, thank you. It pains me so if I dwell on some memories too long.
oh you poor thing. come let me give you a hug. {snuggles Petey between her breasts} there is that better hon?
Much. Thank you.
now.....being detachable, have you ever had any previous owners or defected before?
Unfortunately, no. I was born and bred in Charlie's underoos, so I have not experienced the pleasures of being another man's cock. However, I am hoping Gabriel will see fit to give me a position in his pants. I am very open to new experiences.
And yes, I did defect once before when Charlie's "girlfriend" at the time (the word I'd use is "prostitute", but I digress) tried to go all Lorena Bobbitt on me. I got the hell outta Dodge then. It took some coaxing, but I eventually returned to Charlie. I think I may suffer from domestic abuse syndrome or something.
moving away from the painful topics......
Yes.
as clouser's former cock you must have overheard a lot in your attached state. any insight as to why Closure hasn't seen the light of day? (is it because they're still trying to clean off the KY jelly off the master copy from clouser "mixing" it?)
Oh, it's such a long story, Whore, but here goes:
Lohner secretly loaned the master copy to this guy who was the stepbrother of a girl he was amorously involved with (or as he would put it, "banging'), and the guy lost it (shocking, I know). So Lohner told the guy that he either needed to find the master or give him $50 and his PS2 console. If he didn't, Lohner, in his words was going to "start bustin' some skulls." True to form, the LohnWolf has yet to collect either.
do you play any musical instruments that would assist gabriel in the studio?
Given that I don't have any fingers, I'm a little limited as to what I can play. Guitars are too difficult since you need two hands, and I am no Rick Allen, so the drums are out as well. They give me too much of a headache anyway. But I've become adept at hopping around on a keyboard.
i assume that ability has been polished over the years from all the bed hopping you & lohner have done. oh an btw.......just what in the hell was lohner doing to you in this clip?
That filthy, filthy boy convinced Charlie he could stretch me out using that damn vacuum. All he did was leave me with a nasty bruise. I couldn't get hard for a week after that I was so sore. Rotten bastard.
lohner is such a tard & a half! I don’t even know how he can exsist on the day to day.
if appointed Head Cock, what are your intentions with the cock gabriel already posses?
To be perfectly honest, I'd be happy to share the limelight with Gabriel's current cock. I'm not trying to supplant anyone, just join the party that is Gabriel, or at the very least, the party that happens in his pants. All I ask is to be the top of the pecker order. But I think Gabriel will come to see the many advantages of having two cocks. He can have intercourse with two girls at once, or even double penetrate a his intended. What man wouldn't like the pleasure of making sweet love in a girl's muffy and tootie?
we all know gabriels preferences so do you grow wild, go bonsai, or shave bald? also your preference for pussy.
I personally prefer the bonsai look, though Charlie was too lazy to keep things neat and trim. And I certainly didn't trust him coming at me with a razor, especially when he whipped out the straight edge! I had to hide behind the toilet for a couple of days when Lohner gave him that idea.
As for the muffies, each offers a different experience, all of them good. But if I'm forced to choose, I'd go for the bald eagles. There's less resistance going in for a landing that way.
nice stragity.
now a hypothetical.......suppose you take me on a fuck buddy date, because obviously I can't take you to dinner, where do we go?
Well, since I enjoy being pampered, as I'm sure you do as well, I'd take you to the spa for a little rub and tug. Then we'd have a quiet evening at home in front of the fire, where I would read you Shakespearean love sonnets. Even fuck buddies deserve a little romance once in awhile.
uhhhhh....yea.....whatever. what are your real measurements when clouser isn't around opening his big stupid mouth and making you shrivel with embarassment?
Well, I realize that I am no porn star, but I like to think that I'm bigger than average. When standing at full attention, I'm approximately 8.36542 inches long. But let's be honest. We all know it's about the girth, and I'm a full 9.32687 inches across. A little chubby, yes, but the ladies don't complain. I suspect that's why you had a rather enjoyable encounter with me even if Buttmunch had to go acting like a Neanderthal.
if I help you find "a warm place" will you help me with something else?
But of course, my lady.
i’ll hold you to that. well this has been a pretty smoothe interview. thank you so much for sitting down with me.
My pleasure. I aim to please.
of course you do........
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